Loud and proud!
“The next time anyone tells you that only losers masturbate, or that they don’t, and never would, bear this in mind: according to most studies and surveys, about 95% of adults have masturbated or continue to do so. Were many falsehoods and misconceptions about masturbation true, it would mean that 95 out of every 100 people would be blind, infertile, drooling psychopaths with hair on their palms and shrunken genitals.” – scarleteen
Despite the fact that nearly everyone does it, there are still many people who are uncomfortable and embarrassed about their own natural urges. Not to mention those who think that it’s wrong or say it goes against their religion! In the mid 20th century, only half of all men asked owned up to masturbating and far fewer women did. It’s a lot less taboo now, but many of us still have preconceptions and old-fashioned views when it comes to playing with ourselves.
Well girls and boys, today we’re going to have a bit of sex education! It’s important to learn as much as you can about sex, even if you don’t plan on having sex or having a partner in the near future. The ‘Sexperts’ at Scarleteen have possibly the most comprehensive guides to all things kinky all in one place, alongside a message board and book recommendations.
According to Heather Corinna of Scarleteen, one of the most important things for your sexual self is to choose yourself as your first partner.
“We hear a whole lot about who should be our first partner. Most of the time, we’re told it should be someone we love and who loves us back, someone committed to us long-term, perhaps even someone we plan to spend the rest of our lives with. I agree completely, because you, all by yourself, have all of those qualities, more than any other person ever can.”
So why is it so important to do anything for your sexuality when it doesn’t involve another person? Sex is all about reproduction, right? Furthering the species and all that.
No way. Not only is that absolutely no fun whatsoever, but masturbation has a lot of health benefits, physical and mental. Don’t believe me? Let’s have a look at what masturbation can do for you.
Firstly, it’s exercise! If you do it rigorously enough, you can be burning well over 100 calories every 20 minutes. And feel that heart pumping! Your circulatory system will thank you.
Regular ejaculation has been proven to decrease prostate cancer in men, and orgasming releases endorphins, making you feel less stressed and sad, and giving you an overall feeling of wellness. Now isn’t that wonderful? It can also cure a headache or any other achey feeling.
Not only that, but by keeping an eye on your down-belows, you’ll be able to detect any health problems you might not have noticed without having a good feel down there.
Furthermore, it helps you discover what you like. You can explore and experiment as much as you like without the pressure of needing to perform for someone else. Then when you’ve found out what makes you go ‘WOW’, you’ll be able to tell your future partner so that both of you can have as much fun as possible.
Finally, even if you are religious, there is no proof that masturbation is evil or wrong. Upon further research, I discovered a page for Christian masturbators. Now you have no excuse!
So, my dears, what’s stopping you? Oh, you don’t know how to do it? Don’t worry, it’s really quite simple. Just do whatever feels best. And if you really don’t know, there are plenty of guides on the internet! Just be careful what you’re clicking on…
Anyway, masturbation can do wonders for everyone. Be proud, loud and not too embarrassed to admit to your hot masturbation skills. I think you’ll find you’re not alone. If you still need more convincing, I really do recommend Scarleteen, guys and girls alike. Sex ed, self-esteem, pregnancy, relationships, everything.
Right, I’ll be back after I get off to some hot gay porn.
Motivation
A lot of people find it really hard to stay motivated for a long period of time. They can make themselves feel motivated for a few minutes simply by imagining all the things they could achieve and the suchlike. But if they want to feel motivated for a whole day, or even for doing a project over the weeks, it seems impossible.
Motivation is important for all aspects of life. Without it, we’d just not exist. We wouldn’t be bothered about anything. So having good motivation is vital. So why is it so difficult to keep it?
A lot of it has to do with what you have achieved already. Okay so you’re doing alright, you’ve got a job or a family or something. But so does everyone else! So what’s the point in trying too hard to keep it all together? You feel mediocre, like you’re only existing because you have managed so far, and you’re a bit curious about the future. Maybe you live through your children, your partner or your friends.
Well that’s no fun. There’s no point in living when you’re not enjoying it, at least most of the time. I’m not saying you have to enjoy everything, because then it wouldn’t feel so good, which is why overindulging will not make you happy, but that’s for another discussion. I’ve learned that the first step to living a motivated and successful life is enjoying it. It might seem obvious, but it’s surprising how many people don’t realise it. A lot of people think that you need to be serious to be successful, but that’s not right at all.
So what’s the point of what I’m saying?
1. Enjoy what you’re doing. It’s always possible. If you don’t enjoy your work or whatever now, what is it going to give you in the future? Money? So what? All you’re going to spend it on is more things to prolong your boring depressing life.
2. Make physical changes to affect yourself mentally. Changing the way you look can be a powerful motivator. You feel like you can start anew, you can do anything, because you’re a new person. Perfect your outward appearance. I am most definitely not shallow and do not endorse caring only about your appearance and feeling bad if you think you’re ugly. I mean keeping yourself clean and neat, no shabby clothes, etc. This will make you feel better about yourself instantly.
3. Tidy up your surroundings and your mind. A clear space for working and living in will in turn clear your mind and keep you focused. You can relax easily and feel comfortable and clean. Your mind is the most important part of you. Keep it tidy and exercised. Meditate, read or write down your feelings to help with this.
Finally, here are some thought provoking quotes from one of my favourite novels, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami.
“Everyone of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads—at least that’s where I imagine it—there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in a while, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own little private library.”
“Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time. It’s just a natural feeling…”
“Sometimes fate is like a sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you should imagine.”
“Beyond the edge of the world there’s a space where emptiness and substance neatly overlap, where past and future form a continuous, endless loop. And, hovering about, there are signs no one has ever read, chords no one has ever heard.”
“According to Aristophanes in Plato’s “Symposium” in ancient times people weren’t just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, or female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half.”
“People are mostly a product of where they were born and raised. How you think and feel’s always linked to the lay of the land, the temperature. The prevailing winds, even.”
To begin with
Something that feels surprisingly refreshing is when it’s been windy and rainy and you have to walk a long way to get home. The rain stops and the wind pummels your clothes in all directions, slowly drying it out and making your body feel all numb. By the time you get home, you’re completely dry and slightly dizzy from the wind pushing you back for the past hour or so.
At my school, there’s this girl I only know a little. She always comes up with those sorts of philosophical ideas, most of them the typical “Do you think you see the colour blue the same way I do?”, but other times she comes up with some really thought provoking stuff. We were sitting in English and she said,
“The only way you can be truly happy is if you enjoy all weather, even rain.”
I thought about this for a while, and realised that it’s true. You wake up in the morning and see a beautiful sunny day. You don’t think “Oh god, here comes another crappy day…”. You feel positive and motivated, before the day has even begun. On grey depressing days, you just know it’s only going to get worse. It’s going to rain, your feet will get wet, your hair will be a mess, you’re going to be sitting in a puddle…
Life’s like that. Good things happen and you become motivated. You’re invincible. But the second something not so good happens, you’re apathetic and cannot be bothered doing anything. Life throws our brains off track. We’re really not designed for changes. Brains may hold terabytes of information but they can’t seem to deal with very much at once. We don’t have much brain ram.
Anyway, what I’m trying to get across is that you have to look at everything in life in a positive way. That often seems impossible, but it can be done. Maybe there was a reason that bad thing happened to you. Maybe you’ll be better off in the future. Maybe you learned from it. And mayhaps, you’ll start to appreciate life a bit more. Once you enjoy the rain, everything is more fun. There are more possibilities. It’s raining. So what? Some things feel better after the rain. Some pleasures feel more amazing when the pain has subsided.
